A quality interpersonal relationship is a relationship which is built on understanding of self and

others. A quality interpersonal relationship goes beyound just being casually aquainted with others to

sharing with and gaining an understanding of one another. What I mean by sharing with is that you get a

feeling for each other. I can empathize with you and see things through your eyes. When a quality

interpersonal relationship is present there's certain amount of synergy that takes place between the persons

involved in the relationship. A good example of a quality interpersonal relationship could be found within

the strong family unit.

If we were to study a family that is close knit what would we see. We would most likely see the

following characteristics: individual respect, trust, open lines of communication, open mindedness,

patience, empathy, love and many other attributes which add up to a strong interpersonal relationship.

With in a strong family you find people that truely feel for each other. For example if Mom is sick the

morale of the other family members goes down. If Dad gets a promotion the hold family shares the

feelings of esteem with Dad. The point I'm trying to make is that in quality interpersonal relationship you

will start to feel some of things that I feel which allows you to better understand me and communicate with

me. Although a quality interpersonal relationship sounds like the best thing since Campbell soup and the

Gerry-curl it's not a relationship that's easily achieved.

To achieve a quality interpersonal relationship takes time, effort, desire, understanding, trust,

disclosure, and feedback, effective communication, and etc. When we first meet a person we don't

immediately establish an interpersonal relationship. As implied in the opening paragraphs, a quality

interpersonal relationship goes for beyound conducting casual conversation. It takes time to build an

interpersonal relationship. Why? People like to interact; however, they are protective of there feelings and

don't immediately open up to let you inside to see who's live there. What I'm saying is to establish an

interpersonal relationship with others you need to know things about them and get some perceptiion of how

they interpret things. To get this type of understanding about another person takes time. A good example

would be the development of a friendship.

Think of your best friend. This is probably one of the most productive inpersonal relationships

that exist for you. Now go back from the time you met up until now. How did you get to become such best

friends? As you think through the process you find those things that lead you to become best friends are

the some of the same things that are required to build and interpersonal relationship. I think the depth or

even mere existance of an interpersonal relationship hinges on disclosure and feedback.

Let's talk about the importance of disclosure and feedback in a quality interpersonal relationship.

First of all let me give credit where credit is do. My ideas of disclosure and feedback come from the self-

disclosure model developed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. The model has become know and

Johari's window. The premise of the model is that the more we disclose about ourselves and get feedback

the more we learn about ourselves and the more others learn about us. I believe there is a direct tie between

this theory and how a quality interpersonal relationship is achieved. When I met the person who is now my

best friend, I started the relationship with a casual hello, like most people do. As time passed, I found

reasons to disclose things about me. Well guess what happen; as I started to disclose things about me he

also shared things about him. As more time passed, we started to give feedback to each other about the

characteristics and behaviors of each other. !

The longer relationship lasted and the more we disclosed the more we begin to trust each other. The more

trust the more disclosure and feedback. This continued until we've developed an inseperable friendship

and a top quality interpersonal relationship. So you can see it doesn't happen over night and it takes time

and risk to build an interpersonal relationship. The risk comes in when we open ourselves up and share

some the personal things that could be used to damage us emotionally. Although a quality interpersonal

relationship is difficult to develop